It was a Rare meltdown for Yankees closer Mariano Rivera.

The Texas Rangers batter Murphy delivered a walk-off single [off Mo] to give the Rangers a 4-3 victory in the 10th inning of last night's game.

Apparently after the game, [in flight attendant fashion] Mo grabbed two beers from the club house, got onto the PA system and cursed out a few Rangers only to launch an inflatable exit slide that brought him out to the streets of Texas.

One fan [Barney Terrachip] was there to give his eye witness account.

"It all happened so fast." he said. "Someone (that will remain nameless) said they saw a bucket of sunflower seeds fall from an overhead bin and right onto the head of the Yanks closer. I think that's why he went bazurk."

This other person will remain nameless because, he was not supposed to be in the bullpen or even in the state of Texas. He is considered a swashbuckling thief and can usually be seen wearing a cowboy hat, eating a chalupa and riding a horse with a Pez dispenser in hand. The grounds crew is still picking up the piles of horse crap, especially near the freshly squeezed lemonade stand in the right field food court.

"I saw the swashbuckler on the horse, but didn't think either here nor there about it." said Barney.

The investigation will continue.

"You know what they say, everything is bigger in Texas." Joe said, while speaking about his lineup. "Since we are putting out this lineup, we are going to lose game 1 in a big way." Joe was talking about his lineup that even gets a chuckle out of the Cleveland Indians.

It consists of:

Derek Jeter SS
Nick Swisher RF
Marcus Thames DH
Alex Rodriguez 3B
Austin Kearns LF
Lance Berkman 1B
Francisco Cervelli C
Brett Gardner CF
Ramiro Pena 2B

If things didn't seem bad enough, AJ Burnett will be taking the mound and it is rumored that he ate 4 lbs of Tex Mex food last night.

It's that time again folks. Put down your Pens, ignore your boss and let's get into some Balboni Brain Teaser Trivia. Good Luck.

Which Yankee on the 2000 roster recorded the most starts at DH? Hint, it was 33 games.

The answers will be in the comments section later today, if someone puts it there or we will post it.

Tuesday
NYY: Burnett (9-9, 4.93 ERA)
TEX: Wilson (10-5, 3.30 ERA)

Wednesday
NYY: Vazquez (9-8, 4.63 ERA)
TEX: Lee (10-5, 2.44 ERA)

Thursday
NYY: Sabathia (14-5, 3.14 ERA)
KC: Chen (7-5, 4.44 ERA)

It was a cloudy rainy day on Friday July 23rd, but that didn't seem to matter as 250 NYC kids were on their way to meet some Yankees and get some baseball pointers in Central Park.

In attendance from the New York Yankee were: Joba Chamberlain, Sergio Mitre, David Robertson and Nick Swisher. As the baseball clinic commenced on the North Meadow of Central Park, some nervous parents looked on.

We got a chance to speak with one of the parents Freddy "Empanada" Elverez.

"I thought this was going be one heck of a clinic when they announced the players. Let's see... you got Swisher, Mitre, Roberston and Joba. Then I started thinking about it." He said.

"Did they just say Joba? Whooa back the [beep] up. My kid needs to get better at pitching and I am not going to take a chance with Joba out there." He said. "I don't need my kid's ERA going up in little league, if that guy is teaching him how to pitch."

Little did Freddy know, but Joba has actually been pitching quite well of late. We have been on his case for awhile, but will be giving Joba some props for finally getting his act together...at least for the time being.

They are all washed up.

You may remember Pauly Shores extensive resume that includes mega movies like: Junket Whore, An Extremely Goofy Movie, Red Letters, The Princess and the Barrio Boy, The Wash and My Big Fat Independent Movie. If you have never heard of these, you are not alone. Most of them went straight to VHS or into a big dumpster.

Gary Busy also had some memorable moments in his professional career. You may remember him starring for a split second in a $100 budget (Hair Regrowth Commercial) with Giuseppe Franco. In this commercial Busey gives the role a lifetime and his appearance adds tons of credibility. Gary also starred as himself in the show Celebrity Rehab, where he checked himself in for rehab. This may have been the smartest thing he's ever done.

Finally, we have Lance Berkman. With his short stint with the Yankees, Berkman has managed to go 2-22 and most recently knocked A-Rod in the shin with a screaming line drive. If only he could hit those in a game instead of in practice.

Here is a quote from Berkman that says it all.

“You either retire or get into a situation where you’re scared again,” Berkman said, expecting to be viewed upon as either an exalted hero or a bum. “Either way, it’s stimulating.

“I want to put myself in that situation just to see what I’ve got left.”

Not sure how to take those quotes, but I may vote to have Shore or Busey in the lineup instead.

About us: We have met some incredible people while volunteering at fundraisers that help researchers find a cure for ALS. The resiliency that we see in the people who fight this disease on a daily basis is amazing. We wanted to help do our part and make sure that the money we raise skips the middle man organization and goes directly to help fund research.

A portion of all proceeds go to help find a cure for ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). For all products sold, a donation will be made directly to the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC. Their Mission is very simple. Find a cure for ALS.

We are building our own "section" called Section 4. We want you to stand together in our section against this horrible disease. The 4 represents the # worn by Lou Gehrig and reminds us of his courage.

We have created shirts and wristbands and will be rolling out more products in the near future.

These (shirts) and (wristbands) are actually cool looking, so you will also be trendy.

Pick up 300 of them today at (Bronx Goblin Store)

Get them today. We have a sale going on both products.

Friday
BOS: Buchholz (11-5, 2.59 ERA)
NYY: Vazquez (9-7, 4.61 ERA)

Saturday
BOS: Lackey (10-6, 4.48 ERA)
NYY: Sabathia (13-5, 3.19 ERA)

Sunday
BOS: Beckett (3-1, 5.70 ERA)
NYY: Burnett (9-9, 4.93 ERA)

Monday
BOS: Lester (11-7, 3.07 ERA)
NYY: Moseley (1-1, 4.13 ERA)

Can you believe it?

After going 0-273, A-Rod hit his monumental 600th career Home Run. This is so impressive that, there are plenty of people who have been putting an asterisk * next to his record breaking accomplishment. We can only assume this * is to bring extra recognition, much like a star sticker would in 1st grade.

Our own intern [Holister Jones] was in the crowd when A-Rod smacked his Home Run. He described how it felt.

"Unreal. The crowd was electric." He said.

When asked why it was so electric, Jones responded by saying: " There were 100 employees from Con Edison sitting right next to me. I assume they were skipping work."

We asked him to describe what it felt like to be part of this round # event.

"Let me tell ya, 599 and 601 mean absolutely nothing. Hitting 600 is totally different, its just that special. It's a frickin round #, round #'s have been far superior to prime #'s. That is why we believe they put that star thingy next to his 600th. We are all excited and I am taking the family out to Ponderosa for a nice meal to celebrate."

Jeter responded to A-Rod's 600th:

"I'm happy that we on the team were able to watch him achieve it," Jeter said after the game. "And I'm happy that he had a chance to do it at home."

An inside source said Jeter and Rodriguez had a private meeting after last nights loss to discuss the fact that A-Rod was stinking up the place going 0 for his last 273 at bats.

"We had a nice conversation in one of the back rooms," Rodriguez said. "He reminded me of this time last year, [when he was] trying to get the Lou Gehrig [all-time Yankees] hit record. He said, 'Just try to get a base hit. Maybe even bunt.'

"So when I got to home plate, he had a big smile, and he goes, 'Well, there goes the bunting situation.'"

The hype around hitting no. 600 must be driving A-Rod nuts.

Foolish Sports (a very unreliable source) reported that a very aggressive Alex snapped at one of the reporters Monday night. "I'M NOT STUCK ON ANYTHING!" he said. "To prove it to all of you underlings, I will take any dare you want."

We don't have any confirmation that those quotes are even close to accurate, or that this event even happened, but with a name like Foolish Sports, how could it not be true?

No one quite knows why A-Rod wanted to take a dare to prove he wasn't "stuck on anything," but we decided to hear him out. Unbeknownst to A-Rod, Peter Billingsley (Ralphie Parker) was in attendance and decided to choose A-Rod's dare. Peter went immediately to get a metal pole, from the metal pole freezer in Yankees Stadium. We don't know why A-Rod thinks this dare proves anything, but we believe it is a step in his healing process.

When asked what he thought, we actually have this real quote:

“At the same time, the idea is to think small and not try to do too much,” Rodriguez told the YES network. “I had some good pitches to hit and you can’t foul those balls off. You have to put them in play. I’ve very confident I’m going to come out of this and help the team win.”

After 15 hours of Alex's tongue being stuck to a metal pole, he later realized he missed the team photo. He now fears that he will be summoned in Kangaroo Court, what ever the hell that means.

"I'm going to try to delay Kangaroo Court as much as possible because I know I'm going to get crushed," Rodriguez said, smiling. "The boys are going to get me good. No excuses. Obviously after talking to you guys (reporters) on the way out (Monday night), I didn't look at the board."

We can only assume that a marsupial judge of Kangaroo court will be deciding A-Rods fate and you can be assured that we will be there to report it.