Rumor has it that Chad Moeller was interviewing for jobs while on his 2nd stint with the Yankees. The Yankees became suspicious when they noticed Chad stepping out of the dug out to “make calls.”

Yankee Stadium janitor Arnold Ajax recalls. “I would see this jerk every time I went to get a mop. He would be crouched down in the broom closet sitting on an upside down bucket. I thought he was pooping, but then I heard him talking about floating holidays and Excel spreadsheets.”

After catching wind of Chad’s whacky behavior, Bronx Goblin started to delve a little bit deeper. We noticed that Chad was making frequent Linkedin updates to his profile, which included a multi-chinned homely looking Janet Smirker, who just wrote a recommendation for him.

The bizarre behavior didn’t stop there as we suspect he was making progress in his search. Grounds crew engineer Hank Tarp remembers. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. He showed up one day, to catch a game, wearing a three piece suit. Who does that?”

When asked why Chad was wearing a suit, he sited that he always wears a suit under his uniform. We here at Bronx Goblin are too smart and don’t buy his explanation. Wearing a suit is one thing, but wearing a top hat over a catcher’s mask and swinging a cane after every pitch is another.

Finally we found his resume, which was the smoking gun we were looking for. Complete with a grammatically incorrect cover letter, his resume explained his work experience, skills and had one reference: Francisco Cervelli.

His experience was outlined as a career .226 hitter with 29 HR’s over 10 seasons, with multiple teams. As you know, employers don't like to see people who don't produce and have multiple jobs.

Let’s see who bites…

It's that time again folks. Put down your Pens, ignore your boss and let's get into some Balboni Brain Teaser Trivia.

Who did the Yankees trade to the Seattle Mariners for Tino Martinez, Jeff Nelson and Jim Mecir?

This one is tough.

The answer will be in the comments section later today, if someone puts it there or we will post it.

Good Luck

(CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR SWISHER)

(CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR SWISHER)

Monday
NYY: Vazquez (6-7, 5.11 ERA)
OAK: Sheets (3-7, 4.98 ERA)

Tuesday
NYY: Sabathia (10-3, 3.33 ERA)
OAK: Cahill (8-2, 2.74 ERA)

Wednesday
NYY: Burnett (6-7, 4.90 ERA)
OAK: Gonzalez (7-5, 3.50 ERA)

First off, Happy 4th of July from Bronx Goblin. Now to the important breaking news.

Today, the contestants for Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest weighed in at City Hall in NYC. The atmosphere was electric. While Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, the reigning champ for three straight years, showed off his Mustard Belt, we had a quick look at the other contestants. Margo "Mustard Face" pranced around holding his Ketchup trophy and Sammy "Sauer Buns" Krautenberg showed off his doughy gut to a cheering crowd. All of this was great, but it wasn't the same without everyone's favorite Japanese Hot Dog sensation Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi.

The Japanese phenom who has won the contest six times, claimed that a contract dispute with contest organizers was keeping him out of the July 4th event. Apparently he was quoted as saying that he was "sick and tired of being franked around."

Mayor Bloomberg stepped into the excitement by saying, "Well, you know what they say: If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." (Source)

So, in his place two of the Yankees wanted to see what this hot kitchen was all about. Joba "the Hot Dog Hut" and "CC you in my Tummy Sabathia." were focused on the challenge at hand.

We had a chance to talk with Joba about what this opportunity means to him. "It's huge. Fresh off my DUI, I was thinking about what I could do with my spare time. It got lonely when I wasn't bailing my baby momma out of jail, so I decided that a competitive eating contest was the answer." he said. "I like hot dogs and mustard and relish and ketchup and mustard, so where's the downside?"

He makes a very interesting point. We would almost prefer Joba be at Coney Island than on the mound in the Bronx.

Today's performance sealed that thought as Joba let up the tying run in a 6-1 lose against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Friday

TOR: Cecil (7-5, 4.39 ERA)
NYY: Burnett (6-7, 5.25 ERA)

Saturday
TOR: Romero (6-4, 2.83 ERA)
NYY: Pettitte (9-2, 2.72 ERA)

Sunday
TOR: Morrow (5-6, 4.50 ERA)
NYY: Hughes (10-2, 3.58 ERA)

As we near the mid-way point in the 2010 season, the separation from the contenders and the frauds is growing by the game. The uber competitive AL East has been a battlefield all year.

The Rays, who held a firm grasp on first place in for the majority of the season, have since dropped down to third. The Blue Jays were surprisingly competitive for a few months, but are currently on a 4 game skid, 8 games out of first, and about to fall below .500. The Yankees are in first, Boston is one game back, and everything is right again in the universe.

Don’t let the standings fool you.

There is a fifth team. One that has been laying in wait since opening day to make a move. A team that started a dismal 4-18. A team that resides just outside of Washington DC. No not the Nationals.

The Baltimore Orioles, owners of the worst record in baseball (24-53), who sit further out of first place (23 games behind NY),and further out of the wild card race (22 games) than any other team in baseball, are tired of the jokes, and are apparently poising themselves for a post-season run.

Bronx Goblin has limitless resources, and this includes a secret spy squirrel named Richard who was embedded in the Orioles organization. He was able to get his little squirrel mitts on a memo sent out to all players from the Orioles top brass. We can only assume it was top secret, as it said ‘shhhhhhh’ on the cover of the envelope.

Wanting to focus on the positives, The Memo highlights the O’s recent winning streak (they beat Oakland 9-6 last night) and a “pretty good” 7-8 record over the last 15 games. The word ‘Patience’ was mentioned 43 times.

The Memo also outlines the need for the teams star players to step it up. Slugger and veteran leader Ty Wigginton, whose hitting .262 with a whopping 14 hr’s and 42 rbi’s (both team leading) is expected to assume more of a leadership role. “I thought I was getting traded.” Wiggington said when questioned by reporters. “I guess not.”

Speed demon Corey Patterson, who leads the team with 12sb’s, is expected to be unleashed in the second half. “Whatever they want from me.” Patterson is rumored to have Tweeted.

Solid pitching is also a key, as referenced in The Memo. A starting-staff only (no girls allowed) meeting was held. Kevin Millwood (2-8), Jeremy Guthrie (3-9) Brian Matusz (2-9) and the ace Dave Hernandez (3-6) have agreed to “try a little harder” and vowed to keep opponents under 5 runs a game, if possible.

The Memo concluded with a mention of the Orioles proud history, and the greats that have worn the uniform. The Ripken brothers Cal and Bill (the guy who wrote a curse word on his bat), the Ripken brothers dad, the Ripken brothers grandfather, the Ripken brothers uncle, and of course Jim Palmer, the underwear guy.

All players were ordered to devour the memo after reading. DH Luke Scott added salsa to his.

Whatever happens, it appears the Yanks may need to sleep with one eye open.

The AL East standings as of July 1st

NY 47-30 -
Bos 47-32 1.0
TB 45-32 2.0
Tor 40-39 8.0

Bal 24-53 23.0

Are the Yankees post-game shows getting a little too professional?

Are you sick of Michael Kay and the YES Network staff asking and answering intelligent Yankee related questions?

Would you prefer a Staten Island-esque sounding accent and limited baseball knowledge?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you must love when the Yankees are featured on the MY-9 station and Russ Salzberg is at the mic.

Last night’s post-game Yankees show was borderline unwatchable and made me ask myself why I wasn’t changing the channel or jumping out my window. It was like watching a train wreck. You can’t just look away, because you might miss the explosion.

Although I don’t have the exact questions that Russ was asking, I am going to recreate them the best I can.

Russ: Hey You’s two. Do you think Cliff Lee is as good of a pitcher as a Brooklyn Bagel with Nova lox?

Kay: A... Yes, Cliff Lee is certainly a great pitcher.

Russ: What team do yous two muckalones think he will land on?

Kay: Minnesota is a great place for him and they could be the team to beat if they are in the playoffs.

Russ: Now I’s from the old school, just like Al is an old pitcher. I like to see Hughes pitch 15 innings a game until his arm falls off. Michael what do you think?

Kay: They are looking to the future of Phil and not thinking short term. They have gone through the statistics and think this is the best approach.

Russ: I think that you’s two sound like a couple of pasta fazools. Thanks wise guys, now back to Brent with the latest on the coyote’s that have been roaming the streets of NYC and also to catch up on the Cat Women who has been stealing licorice from candy stores.

Cliff will be sorting through a lot of mail from MLB teams, regarding possible trade options.

Lee is the best player on baseball's trade market -- a savvy lefty who's thrown complete games in three straight starts and has only walked five. He has only allowed 26 earned runs in 95 2/3 innings. Pretty good numbers.

What city will Lee be cheersing in?

"Obviously, I do have preferences, but I'm not going to sit here and tell you who I'd like to go to," said Lee, whose contract does not contain a no-trade clause. "I'm not going to consume time talking about it, worrying about it."

We don’t want you to worry either Lee. Since you only make 40 billion dollars, we wouldn’t want you to consume too much of your time talking about it. Because if you did, the fans that pay your salary would be getting too much information.

Lee probably won’t land on America’s best team the Yankees, because he will be a free agent at the end of this year, and the Yankees don’t want to give up prospects. The Lee saga continues….

Tuesday
SEA: Lee (6-3, 2.39 ERA)
NYY: Hughes (10-1, 3.17 ERA)

Wednesday
SEA: Hernandez (5-5, 3.28 ERA)
NYY: Vazquez (6-6, 5.16 ERA)

Thursday
SEA: Rowland-Smith (1-7, 6.18 ERA)
NYY: Sabathia (9-3, 3.49 ERA)